Attention v/s Information :Long Distance Relationships

I'm writing this post for a few reasons:

1. As an expression for those people who are in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR), and can't say this to their partner, for whatever reasons.
2. To understand my own prospective better about a few things.
3. To analyze and share my understanding of relationships in general. Of course my opinion may be wrong.

I have been thinking for last few days now. In Most long distance relationships, what bugs people the most is not the lack of attention. They know that their partner is around. Rather, what bugs them is the lack of information and communication. What they REALLY are interested in, is the knowledge that You're well, fine, safe, and happy.

Of course, I am not denying the fact that they aren't interested in knowing in which friends their partner met, or which party did they attend. Of course they DO want to know all that and are interested in all that. But, if You're busy, this CAN wait. But, what for most people can't wait is the knowledge that You're OK.

Let's take for an eg. a couple who's married to each other. They are in Govt. Jobs, and they would want to stay together in the same town and house. But, IF one of them is in a transferable job, and has to relocate alone, it's not always possible that his partner relocates too. There can be endless reasons for this: kids, study, business, family, dependent parents, career and what not.

Now, in a typical Indian scenario what would happen is that they would talk at least once everyday, more in times of need, or emergency. They might not talk for hours, or may just talk for a few minutes, saying...'Hey! I'm fine, I've written a long mail.I'm still in the office, and will get in touch soon'. If let's say, one person cannot call, the other would definitely check in.

Scenario no. 2. A newly wed couple: Husband finds a wonderful job in a country which has a 12 hours time zone difference, and huge calling costs. Or it could be a typical (read 'real')LDR, where in a couple explores the relationship overseas, across the 'oceans and seas' literally.

They decide that : Calling is costly, mailing is cheaper, sms is costlier than a call. So, they would mail each other, and let each other know where, how, and in what condition they are.

This is Information that keeps both reassured that the other is fine.

And THIS, I think is what most couples seek.....And This is where care and concern still remains non-interfering as long as both understand it :)

...........I've been trying to write beyond this, but I've not been able to compose any further, so posting as it is on 09.11.09

Rest till later :)

©anu (Exploring Myself)