Uncluttered Life

So, I finally uncluttered a lot of things in last 3 days. Life, thoughts, book-shelves, room and head:P My book-shelves have more books, but more organised and those that are contributing to something. The rest are all packed and away.

My life has fewer friends than past, but those that are worth it, and some of them -do- receive my blog posts in their mails. They might have set me for block though, am not sure :)

My relationships are much smoother and less confusing, commitment shifts happening, in terms of friends as well as valued people. I see and observe people being unable to get over, unable to move on, people who crib, whine, pout because they didn't get what they needed and wanted. The more important word here is want. And then I dislike them and end up disliking them.

When I wrote my post on 'My Name is Khan' I had to an extent realized that I was also being a whiny and a pouty mean bitch, but today I realized that being a whiny cribber was my past.

I am proud of my decisions and am glad I took them in-spite of all my dilemma, and in spite of all the hurt it caused to me. It does not matter what people think about it and how do they react to it. Honestly, it just doesn't affect me anymore.

So, back to uncluttering,this shows that I have uncluttered my heart of many emotional entanglements that were bonds of strength at one time and negative bonds at another. Today I feel so cleansed, free and pure. Not because of who I am in my real, physical life, but because I am learning to respect myself for who I am and because I've covered one more step closer to that :)

For now, back to studies!!! :) But, before that,

Lord,

Give me strength,
not to fight others,
but,
to fight myself..
And,
come out a Victorious winner.

I know Lord,
The winner stands alone,
but grant me the grace,
to share the victory,
so that I may be with loved ones,
and those too, who do not love me.

Grant me the power to love,
unconditionally.
And Lord,
make this unconditional love mean to me,
something that I can share without discrimination.

In Other words Lord,

Make me an instrument of Your peace and Love.

Amen!

©2010 anu (Exploring Myself)

I am Enjoying myself !

Seriously!

I am busy with teaching again, and this time something and to students of a level that I always wanted to. I just love this!

I'm busy posting on forums, and helping people with their personality types. Also getting registered in an executive program for MBA. Simultaneously in MA too. I like this hectic and busy schedule most of the times, except when the depression tends to surface up again. I went to meet Swamiji too. I conveyed my thanks to all people who had supported in my exams, now that the results have come. Those to whom, I'm talking and in touch and to those whom I'm no more in touch too.

I'm finally on my way!

Lord,

I thank You for all that You bless me with!
For what I realize is a boon,

and also for which I do not feel the same way.

Grant me more patience,

more thankfulness and

more love,

both,

to feel,

and,

to spread!

Grant me love!,

Pure love,

Your eternal Love!

Amen!

©anu (Exploring Myself)

Beauty Enhancement and Pampering

I went for a complete beauty Enhancement package to a nearby saloon today. Cost me around 500 of which 300 mom contributed. I also learnt the things at the same time. a hair oil massage followed by waxing pedicure and manicure respectively. to which a facial (scrub, massage and pack) followed. Then I shampooed, got my eye-brow shaped, hair trimmed, and make up done. Draped in a Saree after 4 long hours I was ready for a marriage. I have just come back from the reception.

Some would say spending so much of time was foolery on the previous night to the exam, but its okay..I'm deeply relaxed now. Happy, Pampered, beautiful.

Lord,

Make me realize Your beauty,

The Divine Beauty that is eternal and all pervasive.

That which is in.....

The Lofty Mountain peaks,

The flowing rivers and streams,

The Waterfalls, cascades, and springs.

That which is in.....

The Blue sky overhead,

The Brown earth below,

The Deep Oceans underneath.

That which is in.....

The Birds that sing,

The Animals which graze the pastures,

The Green Pastures,

The Trees that stand tall, laden with fruit,

The grass so green,

The Sun so warm,

The Moon so fair,

The Breeze so cool.

But Lord,

The Most,

Make me see the beauty....

That which is in.....

The innocent smile of innocent children,

The benign smile of wrinkled faces,

The Proud smile of beautiful women,

The Confident smile of successful men and women.

And Lord,

More than even that,

Make me see the beauty....

That which is in.......

The souls of all those and which live.

Make me see the beauty of life Lord!
Make me see the beauty of Love Lord, which comes with life and which brings life.

Love, that is both the source and purpose of life.

Make me see the beauty of Love O Loving Lord!

And.....

Make me capable of loving one and all,

Those who are Your children,

That which is Your creation.

Make me love them as a humble child of Yours Lord.

Amen!!

©anu (Exploring Myself)