Sleepless

Am sleepless today.... very sleepless. Why? I'm trying to relive every moment of my past, in this limited time that I have. I am trying to travel the speed of thought, even faster than that of light.

I am sleepless for I think,

I am sleepless for I feel,

I'm sleepless because when trouble comes,

I don't take off to my heels.

I try to love,

I try to feel.

I end up hurting,

though I try to heal.

Lord, make me travel the paths of love,

Lord make me travel the paths of peace.

Lord, take me in Your shelter,

whole, or else, piece by piece.

I am who I am,

let me accept that O Lord!
Without a guilt, remorse or weakness,

give me the courage to accept.

To not make it a shield,

against my shortcomings,

and to not boast of,

The success in appearance.

Lord, enable me to accept,

that You made me.

And something You made,

may not be so good,

but is never bad.

Amen!

©2010 anu (Exploring Myself)

Updates

Of late, I've been trying to sort out a lot of things in life. I'm trying to straighten out my priorities, thoughts and everything else. Quitting the current job, relocation preferences, struggle and difference between job and studies, and wanting to do both and equally well, is a big time confusion :(

I am of a mould, who cannot even work with inefficiency. If that be the case, I'd rather not work. Perhaps the problem of perfection !!!

But anyways, right now, I'm struggling trying to work out job, study, duties to family and a prospective relationship. Sometimes, I feel, I'm a misanthrope. And sometimes, I feel so unsocial. I wish no one was around me.

But, may be what appears isn't what exists and vice-versa.

Lord help me choose the right path.