The Ever - Changing me.....

I have changed... over the years, over last few months, few weeks, and even in the last few days. I have changed every minute of my life. And when I look back, I realize that some phases in my life have been more formulating than the rest of them.

I have been thinking since last night how every little thing influences an individual, changing them every passing moment in their lives. The friends that were valuable once, do not have any existence in life. Those who were very respected, are now hardly remembered. Those that were deeply loved, are now almost non-existent. This includes even the nearest family.

I am surprised how drastically has my understanding of good, bad, right and wrong has changed. How easy have I become to accepting things about which I wasn't flexible earlier. I notice my parents molding similarly too, my brothers, other elders, almost everyone. And which is why, when I train those youngsters, I keep reminding them.....'This will pass too!'.....

However, there's something that's remained constant......which is my faith in GOD!

It hasn't changed over the years, rather He has helped me enhance that. God has always been around like a helping hand, a savior and a guide, mentor, friend and parent. He has brought me out from the abysses of animal consciousness, and again and again too.

He has protected me from things I feared while also teaching me how to fight them. He has taught me how to survive something as good as death. He has held me when I couldn't walk, and supported me when I limped. He carried me when I was unconscious, and I know He'll do so.....as long as....I trust Him!

I know part of it sounds like a brainwash, but I guess I have my facts straight. Time and again I've indulged myself in emotional attachments, activities which were not suitable to my basic nature, and were of almost like an animal consciousness. I still do so. And, GOD DIDN'T STOP ME!

BUT, He protected me! He saved me when I wanted Him to. He brought me out of it to a consciousness higher when I prayed Him to. And prayer wasn't begging. Prayer was a straight acknowledgment of the fact that I've been doing things I shouldn't and a pledge that I shouldn't do them again. And. that was enough to evoke His love on me.

I wonder how my language has changed. There was a time when I said God's mercy. and today, its more of God's love for me, and less of His mercy. My relationship with Him has changed just like the hole lot of other things.

Lord,

Help me develop my relationship with You,

in the direction,

that would get me closer to You and Your heart(if that exists:) ).

Help me love You,

rather than fearing You.

Help me ask for Your love,

rather than asking for Your mercy.

Make me realize that YOU ALONE are worth desiring....

worth loving my Lord!

Make Yourself the Only Existent in my life...

in all forms,

in all individuals,

in all ideas,

in everything.

Make my motto .......

"GOD ALONE"

Amen.

I'm grateful to Those who've shown me the way to this Lovely Motto. specially Gyan Mata. Help me Mother :)

©anu (Exploring Myself)