Miracles

Miracles....
of love,
are immensely beautiful,
and wonderfully precious....

They however aren't always pleasant,
but at times bring love through hurt.

And, yet every moment in life,
is nothing,
but a moment of truth,
of magic,
A True Miracle!

Lord!
Help me see the omens of my life,
Help me move....
towards the destination...
You alone could have designed for me.

Help me realize,
that unless I cause harm,
All of my wishes and dreams,
are my arms...
In the battle of survival,
between Bliss and Grief.

Lord,
make me move ahead,
every moment, every day...
Towards the destination of service,
through humility's way.

Give me strength,
to change the things that I can.
And more to accept,
those that I can't.

And amidst the tears that silently flow,
of heart-ache and quiet pain...
Let my face reflect, learning's glow,
and let knowledge be my gain...

Lord, help me experience both sorrow and joy,
Wisdom from grief, and bliss to enjoy....
Give me the capability to share O Lord!
If I cannot break free from attachment's cord.....

Help me cause some miracles please!
In my demise I may smile with ease,
Glad to make some one feel loved,
With the mind firm, but heart gloved.

The miracles of love and beauty,
may they exist forever.
May Humanity succeed...
in Love's endeavor.


This I ask in Your holy name.

Amen!

©anu (Exploring Myself)

Prayer: Failures and Success...confusion

Lord,
Guide me through the times,
both tough and easy.
Through times, when I do not know
what to ask of You, my Lord......

Amen!!!

©anu (Exploring Myself)

Diwali celebrations begin

Then decorated the floors with designs and patterns (Alpana and Maandana). I made several of them with washable colors, since they have to be kept for no more than 4
days. And definitely I wouldn't want the marble permanently colored :) But all the stairs
and the floors of course are looking very nice.

Today I'll do the glass sticking so that the light from lamps is reflected at each step,
and the home would light up excessively well today.I love Diwali, if not for anything
else, for the fact that it lets me use a lot of my creativity in the aesthetic sense.

Tomorrow would come the rangoli.......more lamps today and tomorrow. Of course tomorrow also would come the crackers.... most of them would not be bombs, and hence no noise, rather just firecrackers will loads of sparkles :)

©anu (Exploring Myself)

The festive spirit of man

The festive spirit of man is one of his basic instincts, both at the levels of flesh, mind as well as soul. Festivals satisfy, that deeply embedded need of joy, pleasure, merriment and enjoyment of which, the basic is in the need and requirement for bliss....

Sukhavasane idamev saaram.... This small Sanskrit phrase can be interpreted in many ways...In the end of joy, this is the conclusion, or that...the death of a human being in joy and pleasure is the only conclusion... can be the other interpretation.

Its surprising to note how infectious this festive spirit can be, and for a heart broken, how equally devastating can it be as well.

The best part about it however, is that, it lets man be in touch with his surroundings, in harmony with culture, environment, society, internal pleasure, celebrations, and even environment as in scientifically.

For eg. Diwali is one such festival...
Spiritually:it signifies the triumph of truth,
Mythologically:The return of Rama, back to His Home,
Socially: The festive spirit of man, and his keeping in touch with friends and family
Culturally: the lighting of lamps to destroy the darkness
Environmentally: The destruction of pests and insects by the process of white-washes...etc....

Not to say of course, that the festival equally affects the economics of the country and the politics (specially when it is governed by the religious sentiment of the people), as well.

This is a typical example of how a festival permeates its essence in all aspects of human life, and how it portrays the all-pervading festive spirit of human beings.

Till later,
Love

©anu (Exploring Myself)

Brida

The conflict of finding two soul mates in life is immense and devastating.... specially for One who'd weak of mind, and more than that, unsure of heart. Not an easy decision it would be, if Brida would have to choose. But she just didn't have to. She had been following what she had heard her heart saying. But, tough, yes it definitely was, for the wizard who loved her.

Older to her by a number of years in age, experience and tradition, he knew he was her soul mate and just the vice-verse too. But, he chose to wait, and eventually lose, and yet be happy. I cannot explain ho many times have I wept while reading this book by Paulo Coehlo!

I don't want to delete this post right now, and would rename it/reform/edit it, once I can re-organize my thoughts.

©anu (Exploring Myself)

Loneliness: need family

I know what a responsible, educated young woman.... or rather young lady means. But, the fact is I seek to have a family of my own. I wish I wouldn't have to worry about any sort of contributions, any sort of responsibility, and any sort of maturities.

Sometimes I think... Is money this important ? And, then I look at various examples of peopl and their lives all around me, to think that money IS definitely important. But there's something more important than that! Which is the sense of belonging. And we can't generate this sense of belonging. It has to come from within. I can very well imagine that I belong to some place, some people, a family or a group of friedns. But, the fact is that I still am lonely.... utterly, absolutely Lonely!

This sort of loneliness exists when the expectations in a relationship are higher than can be fulfilled or satisfied. Also, this sort of loneliness is there when we try to convince ourselves about the fake realities. Or, may be this is JUST my problem and nothing generic. Because, somewhere deep down in my heart, over the years, I have begun believing that this world is temporary, while soul is eternal, and hence I need things that are permanent too, and not those that are transient. Things and people or relationships, all mortal, wouldn't be able to satisfy me as something eternal would.

And yet, seeking eternal love or an eternal relationship, right from heaven, doesn't seem/isn't possible. Rather what seems possible is just being lonely and dead. Or else, to suffer amidst the numerous relationships across different births.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't spiritual or even aware of the word spirituality. Specially when the desires of flesh overwhelm me. To avoid/pacify these desires, I've tried...........what not? Relationships (rather the idea of being in relationships), friendships, family relations, ergomania, literature, hobbies, meditation, going out and culture and what not!!
The result?
Nothing seems to work!
Reason?
They too aren't permanent!

Now the crux of the problem is that I need things and people who'd stay longer than any thing, and I get what's just momentary. So what should I do? Should I become a renunciate? NO, because I'm submissive but not 'that' submissive. I've never been able to submit my soul to any rituals, practices or anything except the true force of this universe. The cause behind all causes. The "Sarva-kaaran-kaaranam" ! In different forms, shapes, with different names and what not.

I need God........ but the trouble is.. I need Him in the human form, something of my personal incarnation. I do not need anything less than a Master. But a Master, not of my flesh or mind alone. A Master, who would guide my soul on its path, and yet accept that He doesn't own my soul. I sometimes think I need a spiritual Master. But, the trouble is that I can't be bound to a hard and fast set of rituals and practices. And that also, I CANNOT DENY the desires of flesh. I can definitely subside it to some extent, and to suppress it when important, but I cannot JUST forget them.

Solution......... get married? Yes perhaps, but then the duties and the obligations call!
I wish I could just let my mind not think about any of this stuff, and let my destiny shape what I desired.

Lord,
You who have given me the mouth,
Are One who feeds me!
And I ?
I desire things different than those You give me.
Help me desire only which I deserve Lord,
and grant me that I deserve, if so You please.
Amen!

©anu (Exploring Myself)

Vaccum: the soul v/s the mind and heart

I am suffering from another of my vacuum pangs........ those pangs of the typical bipolar depressive phases. I am trying to absorb myself in work, even extra work, even that which doesn't bring me any benefits, neither monetary, nor intellectual or educational.

A part of me is cribbing about the extra work, but the fact is that the extra work exists because I agree to its existence. If I deny doing some work, no one can force me to do it, but the fact is that I do not want to deny it either. Why? because I know, if I stay back at Home, I'll have those bouts of a quarrelsome mood, and a very negative attitude. So, its better I work.

This vacuum seems to be more of an emotional and psychological nature rather than being that of a physical or materialistic nature, though the precipitating causes can be something as simple as .............why did a friend not pick my call just when I called, or why did mom not cook a certain vegetable, or why wasn't my printer functioning (though it now is).

Lord,
Help me sustain,
Help me survive.
Amen!

©anu (Exploring Myself)

The god of Earth

If to walk amongst us He chose,
it would be profanity. Some might say this.... but I guess thats not true.

If He stood high above, He could instill fear and not love, and then
one fine day....... He'd cease to be true.

For the fear of God, is not what humans need..... they long for an
entity, loving in deed.........

Thus, only when He walks the earth, shall He be the Real God!!!

Prayer:

If You are thee,
Please show me thyself.
For, I do not understand You,
but I wish to feel You,
and thenceforth always love You.

Amen!!

©anu (Exploring Myself)

About Ourselves : Do we share?

I've been thinking about writing on this since a long time now. The question I have is... do we share? If yes, with whom and how much? and why? I have this knack of thinking in terms of my 5 W's and 2 H's. SO For this too :)

The question is.... DO we share?

and the answer is....... Most of us DON'T!!

©anu (Exploring Myself)