Another depressive Bout: heavy very heavy

Pre Script: this is a blog entry less about my thoughts and more about my feelings.

One of my best friends is getting married. First in 'my' circle. or rather so called 'my'. did I ever really have friends? i doubt. is it that I tend to cling to people and relationships? no, I grow out of them at the right time. She had started being unresponsive for past one year or rather more. So, i also eventually stopped calling. I thought she didn't want me to call her. Today she returned, more intense than ever. as a Friend who had really missed me.

She is getting married, but, why am i upset about it. I am happy, yes that's true. She is moving on to the next phase in her life, and its both Joyful, and important for her. and yet, I'm slightly upset, because i will be left even more lonely.

brother needs the PC, so would have to get up now. I know my thought process would be lost, but i will have to entertain it. I will write another entry after the right time. No point saving this entry and editing it later and stuff.

©anu (Exploring Myself)